Identity Crisis

Death, paralysis, trauma, heartache, heartbreak, sin, suffering, poverty, hunger, bankruptcy and a nervous breakdown….there are hundreds and millions of situations and predicaments that could be termed as the penultimate scourges of this world. These are things that happen to you which you have no control over and are universally considered as the worst case scenario…

Well today, let me introduce to you one of the worst case scenarios there are…with a bit of a twist. Thing is, you do have control over this… Wikipedia refers to it in three different categories….in music, in comics and in the one I will try and deal with…in psychology. It’s termed as an internal conflict of and search for identity. It’s an Identity Crisis.

On the other hand, an identity is referred to as a subjective sense as well as an observable quality of personal sameness and continuity, paired with some belief in the sameness and continuity of some shared world image…in other words, what you term as your identity is usually viewed as what those around you think of you! And this very definition is what I have come to realize lands us in this ‘crisis of an identity’. You may or may not realize that you are experiencing an identity crisis because in some cases it is subtle, but the true challenge is how to identify it and rectify it.

Do you feel you have no idea where you’re headed in life? Do you feel worthless or lack the drive or urge to make something more meaningful in your life? Do you have feelings of what I call generalization where you’re just one more person on this planet with no goals in life and living it as the wind blows? Do you feel aggravated by what your life is and has become and have a need for change but don’t know what exactly to do about it? Then I think you’re suffering from what I’m trying to help solve…
…an IDENTITY CRISIS.

The way to get out of this…which is more of a sensation than a situation, is by evaluating yourself using these seven steps I have come to discover;

1. Quality of Time
Have you learned to balance between striking when the iron is still hot and working at a sustainable and gradual pace to achieve your goals? Can you distinguish between long term goals and what you expect shortly? If you can’t….do so now!

2. Confidence
Are you sure of yourself and unbreakable in spirit?

3. The New
Have you tried out different roles and tried new things in new ways? Experimentation, albeit with restraint is the key…

4. Success
Do you believe in yourself and that whatever you do will lead you to success and achievement that satisfies?

5. Gender
Are you comfortable being male or female and dealing with others as such?

6. Role
Can you beth a leader and a follower? are you comfortable?

7. Ideology
Have you found a set of basic social, philosophical, or religious values that your outlook on life can be based upon?

Hope this helps you out like it did me…cheers

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Embers of Desperation

It started like a joke,…

some hellos… some goodbyes,

some ‘heys’ and other ‘take cares’.

Who would’ve guessed it would become something akin to lighting a match in a room full of gas?

I choke, I struggle, I strive to get a whiff of the clear air which I clamor for …

but these embers, the embers of my desperation, seek to consummately and unabashedly consume me in their wake.

The ‘heys’ turned to tight snuggles and the goodbyes to succulent embraces.

The ‘take cares’ metamorphosed into deep kisses which I longed for without inhibitions.

When we talk, all I want to do is taste your lips. I want time to stop. Just for us to take our time in turn.

And just like this raging fire building up within me, I want you all to myself,

all for me and no one else…

Yet the more I get of you, the more I want of you…the embers of desperation.

I Just…

I’m distressed,

This tug at my heart is too heavy to bear and the tears just seem to find their way down my cheeks…
The world is weighing down its heavy axle on me and stuff isn’t going how I planned,

Everything seems to be going wrong and everyone around me is just crazy and mad at me…

But I don’t mind all of this, I know there’s you right there, always with me, compact in the recesses of my being.
I just wonder, do you think of me the way I do you?…

When you’re overwhelmed with emotions, when all your expectations of life are being fulfilled,
when your looking all fly in ’em jeans and gorgeous in ’em pics
When you’re the center of attention and all those envious eyes are on you,

it seems they all just want a piece of you coz damn! You’ve made it big!….
I just wonder, do you think of me the way I do you?…

When you’re looking for love, or just a hug maybe,

when you’re looking for someone to say just the right thing, push the right buttons, touch the right place…
When all you see is friendship, yet I’m right here and can offer you more,

when all you crave is a kiss of assurance, so tender and yielding, yet warm and insistent…
I just wonder, do you ever think of me?…

I just wonder, do you think of me, the way I do you?…

Over It

I’m over your smile…
I’m over your charm…
I’m over your firm grip on me…

I’m over your sexy laugh…
I’m over your great physique…
I’m over your tender words…
You’re truth, which are lies… am so over it!

The moonlight on my pillow was your tender caress…
The smell of flowers in the field was you’re breathing against my lobe…

The rain from the clouds turned to my bitter tears…
and the persistent heartbeat in your chest I could feel in my hand.

Now when I look into your eyes, all I see is sorrow…
When I look at your hands, I see destruction…
When I hear your voice, it’s all effervescent toxicities…

I only realize then, that I’m over your charm, over your sweetness,

over your promises and over your touch…

But it’s all a lie, ‘cause when my lips touch yours,

I’m lost all over again…
Lost in your deep sentimental eyes…and that smile…

The smile which made me fall for you the very first time.

Some Wait A Lifetime…

With its twists and turns, its debacles and surprises…

its bestowments and curses and its blessings and joys,

life can be one big ball of energy, bursting with promise yet unequivocally boisterous and volatile.

Life can give you love and easily turn it into hate, it can give you tears and easily turn those into giggles.

Every second of every day, millions are borne into sorrow and yet other millions into stupendous joy,

one relationship kicks off and another culminates into a somewhat natural death…

yet all in a days work, its still disheartening yet brimming with hope.

While some of us seem to effortlessly fall into the sway of love and emotion, others seem to wade the torrentious currents of harsh reality for what seems like forever,

looking, searching and dying to find that true meaning of life.

Some people wait a lifetime for moments like these, moments that seem stolen from the cruelties of life,

moments that seem starkly distinct from the raw tenacity that is the man-eat-man society we all seem to reside in, or survive in…

moments that define who we are and where we have come from and moments in which we retreat into the tender yet loving arms of the ones we love.

But what if all this is but as fleeting as falling leaves in Autumn wind? What if your loved ones have abandoned you and there is nobody around to lift you up when you are down…

to listen to your heartbeat while you sleep…to kiss your tender lips when you yearn for solace…then what?

Its hope that keeps the human race on its rail track of eventualities,

the belief in a better tomorrow and the eradication of the terrible memories of the past.

We may end up waiting a lifetime to find true happiness and contentment,

but once it is found, it will have been worth the long sojourn into the wilderness of meaning.

The Celebratory Tragedy

The Celebratory Tragedy
The period may have been sombre, the trials rather troubling and the experience definitely unforgettable but the outcome was nothing anyone, least of all myself, would have expected. It was a time when my tears flowed freely and unabashedly and when my emotions bubbled over like the raging waves of a burst dam…furious, consuming, destructive and effective in its mission, to make me feel worthless and worn.

My mind was like the sky on a rainy day, dark and tumultuous, sweeping and unpredictable. My heart was the ocean, vast and endless in its capacity, yet exploited and polluted by the filth of experiences and hurt and pain. My body was but an enigma…existent yet dynamic, vibrant but temporary and my soul was clay; malleable, adhesive and weak.

At this funeral, there were no white lilies or crimson roses…shades of black and deepest sorrows were non-existent. The eulogy was short and concise, no flowery vocabulary or praises and thanksgivings…there were only regrets and apologies, reconciliatory statements and promissory notes.
The other strange thing about this funeral was an attendance of only one…myself. But then again, if you put into consideration the purpose of the funeral, you’ll figure out why it turned out the way it did. It all marked the end of an era and the beginning of a new one…a celebration of life and an appreciation of death.

It was the murder of Loneliness…and the culprit was Love.

@natekev

Geography of the Sexes

Heres one of the most memorable notes I ever saw…

The Geography of a Woman
————————
Between the ages of 18 – 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 21 – 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 – 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 – 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 – 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 – 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 – 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future (a bit like Tony Blair, maybe Blair’s a women really).

After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man
————————
Between the ages of 15 – 70 a man is like Zimbabwe – ruled by a d***